The Pankian Metaphor was Goodbye to USENET

Starting from scratch? To make the first tin can, quite a while...

First, I need to discover a need for the tin can. The average hunter-gatherer probably stores most of his reserve energy in the form of body fat. You don't need to invent the tin can until you've developed both agriculture (thus creating a "home base" where food energy is concentrated) and the need to inexpensively transport that food energy to another location (such as non-temperate climates, over seas, war rations, or trade with other areas.) Short term (a few months to several years) food storage for local use is limited to seasonal produce and can be solved more simply drying, salting, and freezing.

Once I discover the need for inexpensive, light, disposable, air-tight packaging I have to come up with the materials. Nature provides some "canned goods" like coconuts and animal skulls. Animal bladders, stomachs, and intestimes (combined with specialized cooking techniques) give us stuff like haggis and sausage. Unglazed ceramic bowls, jars, and such work pretty good for grain, dried fruit, dried vegetables, and such. Liquids tend to seep through unglazed ceramics, so I need to develop something better. Glazed pottery gets invented and refined. Glbuttware is developed.

Meanwhile, metalworking has become a science. A series of craftsmen learn to make closed vessels from a succession of metals: bronze, copper, brbutt, gold, silver, lead. Alloys of various metals are developed that lower cost, pewter brings metal to the mbuttes. Sheet metal becomes a commodity item that allows the "tin smith" the flourish as an occupation. Rivets, brazing, soldering, and welding allow vessels to be made from sheet metal instead of being cast. Stamping allows mbutt production to occur. Stamped metal lids make canning in glbuttware practical for the home.

Canning in glbuttware proves impractical for military rations. The glbutt jars are too fragile and heavy for soldiers to carry in any quanbreasty. Questionable canning practices result in spoiled food and some rests due to botulism. Finally, somebody comes up with a lightweight, disposable, durable, metal container with a soldered airtight lid. Another half-century or so, and somebody invents the can-opener.

That only took a few thousand years...

-- Micheal H. McCabe