the new POPE and Microsoft

VATICAN CITY - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, Microsoft Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of Microsoft common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

With the acquisition, the new Pope will become the senior vice president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while Microsoft senior vice presidents will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates.

"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to 10 years," said Gates. "The combined resources of Microsoft and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."

Gates described Microsoft's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired - "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates. The Microsoft move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, as other churches scramble to strengthen their positions in the increasingly compebreastive religious market.