Trolls' Purpose 13464

Thomas Wootten

Absolutely! Here is my 17th attempt at draft legislation....

The Engines of Democracy Astro Turfing Rights Bill -------------------------------------------------- 1. All astro turfers must register for employment and obtain employee ID.

2. Clients are nice people too, and deserve every contract to be    to be displayed openly with a contract ID so that everyone may know    astroturfing company - client relationship and how much money    has parted hands. Particularly important for politicos who    are worried of excessive spending by the other side.

3. All astro turfers must show their employer registration ID, and client    contract ID with any works of art and fiction they produce.    In return legal immunity is provided to the astro turfer,    the client and astroturfing from any prosecution for opionins    expressed, except for anything that falls under existing libel laws.

4. Failure to do so can net unlimited liability for its employers    and the clients who use the services.

5. This allows all astro turfed hooting tooting votes and opinions    to be counted as just one vote and make democracy work fairly.

6. Bring astro turfing in line with current advertising rules    i.e. a. they must be factual         b. they have been refereed         c. they have paid tax

7. Any mis information reported by astro turfers is subject    to laws of libel, and through use of employee ID, can    render the employee, the employer and the client liable.

8. All astro turfers have the right to snitch on their employers    and clients with legal protection from the law if they    choose to do so. That is employers and clients must not compel    employees into signing any agreements that prohibit their    god given rights of freedom of speech.

9. Public companies must register transactions with astro turfing    companies and make available to investors and the SEC the full    nature of the contract between them and their astro turfing    companies so that investors can be confident of the investments    they are making, and that it is not based on faked misinformation    inadvertently supplied by astro turfers.

Client and Employer Misconduct ------------------------------

10. Should the employer or the Client is found to be in misconduct    when hiring astro turfers to put out incorrect information,    the client and the employer gurantees to indemnify the employee    from any cost arising out of litigation.

Disabilities allowance ----------------------

11. Its widely accepted that disabled people and housewives    are used for astro turfing as they are likely to sit    in front of a computer and type out nonsense all day.    For those disabled people that are housewives or that have to    operate a computer without an arm, or a leg, or a brain,    we demand that pay is equal to that of fit and lifeless    colleagues.

Career progression ------------------

12. No astro turd likes being called an idiot. Its un-winnable to argue    a point when you are an astro turd and have no qualifications.    So we need an astro turfing insbreastute where we can hoof and poof    and gain merits for our nefarious activities.    All qualifications shall be cited with employee ID and client    contract ID as part of the legal requirement to become    a qualified astro turfer.

Puppet Master Authentication ----------------------------

13. Astro turfers have the right to know who they are ultimately working    for. Thus we propose all contracts be signed by the actual    puppet master(s) names that has instigated the action as opposed    to their paid minions or suckered bum boys. There can be no    transferrance of this responsibility. I.e. as a puppet master, you    cannot legally claim you were acting under orders.    Each named person must take full personal responsibility    or none at all and be prosecuted for fraud.

1 April is Anuual Holiday -------------------------

14. Most professions need a holiday like banks have    bank holiday. It is proposed 1 April, or April fool's day    is a national astro turfing holiday.    This is a matter of deep seated tradition.    Why is that?    Because though we are fools, we don't suffer other fools.

Certified Accounts ------------------

15. When your astro turfing company wins something by    faking 10,000+ people, and no one knows if the    actual figure is 10 people, 15 people or 150 people    that manufactured all the astroturfing letters, there is    a need for actual figures to be available when    astroturfing takes down somebody or something or the company    completes its contract so that those who lost know how so few    astroturds had defeated so many with astroturfing methodologies.    Scores do need to be settled later.    Thus, companies must keep certified accounts of    each contract, i.e. how many people they used    and how many fake letters and idenbreasties they used to send it    all out, and in particular, how many votes they manufactured    through company activities.

Pay Rise --------

16. Pay rise is a senbreastive topic. All astrotufers and their    companies are enbreastled to pay rises, but employer and-or    the client may refuse. Well if clients did any business in the    past through you, then you must use those records and offer to    repost them with summaries to clarify the situation.    In this way, employers and employees can benefit from pay rises    by invoicing the client spuriously on a whim.    We demand that this practice is legalized along    with legalizing astroturfing.

Psycho Councilling -----------------

17. Astro turfing can force you to hide your idenbreasties    and create new idenbreasties to decieve your friends in newsgroups    and social groups your asked to join and destroy.    Normal humans can't live with the constant lies, deceit, nym shifting    and butt covering tactics of a habbitual astro turfer.    Astroturfers can become internet psycho with so many    personalities that its impossible to tell one personality from    another, and it is known for astroturds to quarrel with other    posters despite them other posters being themselves    and their own sock puppets!    Astro turfers need constant psycho councilling and it is not    to be deducted from wages these costs.