Unix is too hard

I tried Solaris 10. I tried Linux. I tried FreeBSD.

Unix is too hard. Why is that? The Unix versions I listed above were installed by my friend on my computer and yet I wasn't able to connect to the internet. My friend is a computer Wiz and he couldn't figure out how to get my computer on the internet. In fact all the secretaries at work have my friend work on their computers and he is thinking of going back to college to get his MCSE.

I do have to admit that I tried OpenOffice and liked it a lot. The export to PDF feature is really nice and the quality of OpenOffice is somewhere between MS Office 97 - MS Office 2000 minus the VBA functionality. This makes it good for home use although at the company I work my friend tells me OpenOffice cannot run our VBA code. So it will not work for most workplaces. My son uses it for school since it is free and he would rather have new Nike shoes than an office application.

My friend is trying to get Unix to connect to the net still even though I am telling him to put windows XP back on my PC. He tells me that getting Unix connected to the net is one of the greatest challenges a computer Wiz has to encounter. He tells me he is at the point of almost making it work. He downloaded a bunch of DTrace scripts off the internet at work and burned them on a CD. He brought the CD home and was trying them out to see if he could DTrace to google but he got no response. He ran this command:

dtrace www.google.com.

It didn't work! I told him to go and get his MCSE and then Unix will be easier to understand once he has the degree. He then tried using an Apple emacs editor to edit some hosts files following some printed instructions he got from google. Apple emacs was too hard and it kept on beeping and there was no way to quit so we pressed a bunch of keys until the emacs became really buggy and gave us this message:

Debugger entered--Lisp error: (void-variable +)

I had to pull the power cord on the computer to reboot it. By this time I had convinced my friend that MCSE degrees were offered to give training in computers and he agreed that in order to become a "hacker" level computer Wiz, he would have to get that degree. So he went to put windows XP on my computer but he told me it didn't recognize the parbreastion. We googled solaris unix and found "ZFS" on google at work. It said that the file system is indestructable and never goes away. According to one website it was like this: "ZFS protects all data with 64-bit checksums that detect and correct silent data corruption." That means it fights Windows XP and Norton Ghost when trying to get rid of Unix.

By this time I really needed to be connected to the internet at home so I could get email. I went to an Apple store and told them that I needed a new computer but not an Apple Emacs because I already tried it and had to pull the power cord to make it stop beeping. He led my to an Apple iMac which he said was better than an Apple Emacs because it was newer and based on OS X.

I got home and got on the internet right away with my iMac. I am so glad I'm done with Unix. My apple gets things done like unix where unix couldn't.