A question about windoze trolls 2171

WCJ

(snip trollish explanation of post)

So spake the Evil One seeking to start again the OS Wars.

poo happens. All OS have their good points and their bad points. A small number of people make this into a religious belief. Let us now to Church Temple Shaul Mosque...

Now shall the Priest Test the Faith of the Congregation in These Words:

"I Say Unto You That Windows Rules, and That even Though It Sucketh More Mightily than an Hoover (or as the Case May Be an Dust Devil, or an Electrolux or an Vampyr, depending on the leading Brand of Vacuum Cleaner in the Infomercial Television Market of the Responders), and that Talk of Vista is But the Sounding of Brbutt, or a Tinkling of Undefined Symbols, for it Shall Never Come To Pbutt, and E'en If it Doth, Then shall It Suck More Mightily Even than a Dyson New Out of the Box and Before the Guarantee Hath Expired, and that Even If Windows shall Sell upon Nigh Unto Nine Tenths and More of the World's Computers, Still Shall we Know It for the poo that It Is and Revile It for its Success and Pretend that We Know Better than the Marketplaces of the World, and the William and Melinda Gates of Heaven Shall Be Closed to Us Forever. Oh Yea."

--- Yeah, Right (the Invisible Congregation shall Shout its Agreement).

Now shall the Priest Further Test the Faith of the Mulbreastude Here buttembled, saying to them:

"I say Unto You, that Apple is the Second Son Of God, being the Illegitimate One that God Seeketh Not to Discuss, Not Even with Mary Magdalen, and that it Used Not to Suck but was Instead Rather Cool, and that E'en If It Doth Now Suck, then It Only Sucketh A Little, Albeit Steve Jobs is a Right Pain in the Arse and We can Only Imagine Who hath Inflicted Such A Plague of Bad Haircuts and Shirts Upon Him, and the Ipod Sucketh Mightily, forasmuch as It Looketh and Soundeth Cool But it is Infested with the Disease thath is Called DRM and Breaketh Too Easily When Dropped from Only a Small Height, and that the iTunes Shoppe is Closed and Barred Against the People from New Zealand which is a Great Affront and Insult to Them, and that Apple Does Not Know How Bad a Thousand Years of Utu Can Be".

--- Yeah, Right. The Invisible Congregation shall Shout its Agreement, and then shall a lone voice inquire: What is Utu? Is this a South Auckland band, for if it Is It Will Be Cool? And the Voice from On High shall Reply in a Heavy Kiwi Accent: Utu is Revenge, Mate, and just you Watch It. And the Invisible Congregation Shall murmur: "Oh poo. Now see what you have done".

Now shall the priest Intone the Credo of the True Believer, crying out in a Mighty Voice:

"Hearken Unto Me, when I tell you that Linux in All Its Faces and Mulbreastude of Distros, is the One True God and Doth Not Suck. No, Never, even as it Snorteth Up the Line that is Called Command and Draweth Upon the Sacred Bong of Enlightenment Sucketh It Not, e'n tho an plain RAID Array is as an Anathema to Much of It And Despite that It Cannot Read Data from a Simple Pocket Scanner, yeah are these but Trivial Stumbling Blocks on the Path to True Nirvana and Enlightenment".

--- Yeah, Right On! (the invisible Congregation shall Shout its Agreement and conceal the unreadable Docupen pen-style pocket scanner in a suitable body aperture.).

(then shall the Congregation, having chosen the Object of Devotion, Vow Solemnly to Cleave Only unto That Object and Forsake and Foreswear All Others, Consigning the Works of Redmond and Cupertino Into the Sixty-Sixth Pit of Hell, wherein already dwell UNIX, Multics, BSD, SUN OS, OS-2, VMS, CP-M, QDOS and All the Other Devils that No-one but the most Self-Abusive of the Geeks and Nerds and L33t Fr33x HaxOrs Has Ever Heard Of). And the SCOundrels of Utah shall Stoke the Fires.

Next shall the Priest Intone the Sneering Words against the World's Most Successful Software Company, and shall Vilify It for its Success, and Rail Against its Wealth for being what Cometh in the Box, a complaint All Too Oft levelled against Studly Folk, and the Congregation shall reply "Oh Lord, We Wish It Were Not So Successful But We Cannot Change History for that is Thy Prerogative, and Oh Lord, that Doth Truly Suck, and Is It Not Time for some Judicious Smiting, particularly of the One That is Called Ballmer, and If He Cannot Be Smitten, Couldst Thou Not at Least Hurl a Chair Upon Him".

And Then shall follow the Writing of Ritual Transient insults upon the surface of the UseNet, and the Surface shall be Briefly Stirred and then Revert to its Previous Calm, and All Shall Be As It was, and Nothing Shall have Changed.

And the Congregation Shall Depart, Saying One Unto the Other that This was a Successful Meeting, and That Told Them, and (to a companion) If You Are Not Doing Anything Else How About Coming Round To My Place, and also that the Truth Hath Been Spoken, and Much Hath Been Achieved, tho when Pressed upon the Matter, none shall Recall what precisely Hath Been Achieved Other than the Occupancy of some Time and perhaps the Persuasion of the Companion to Lie With Them, or even, which is often Much Worse, to Tell The Truth.

And they shall buttemble in a Room where Bheer and Pizza is Consumed, and Speak Wonderfully and Vaingloriously about their Success, and None Shall Notice the Elephant of Microsoft that Is Also in the Parlor, for their Eyes Are Blind To It so that they Cannot See.

--- Thank Ghod, the Invisible Congregation shall Say, before Opening the Pizza Carton.

And the Priest shall say, after the manner of His Kind, Ite. Missa est!

Philip